easy come, easy go.

My Story

If I know you in any way, shape, or form. Please don’t read this. Especially if you go to my school.

Hello! If you’re reading this, then you must be pretty interested in my life. So, here it goes.

Once upon a time, to crazy kids met in college. They loved each other so they got married. But, the wife couldn’t have kids. Well, she found a way to pop out two little baby girls. Me, and my younger sister Ana. My first home was a house in Kennet Square, PA. It was small, but it will always be the best house I have ever known.  About 20 yards into our backyard was a playground that my mom would take my sister and me to every single day. But, as I got older, and started going over to other friends houses, I started to realize my mommy was special. She acted differently than all my other friends moms. My mother is an Alcoholic. Alcoholism is a very scary thing, because its kind of like cancer, it can never be “cured”. You can’t just stop being an alcoholic. Only people with alcoholics in their family will probably understand that. Anyway, so I found that out at a very young age. When I was 4, my family was at my aunts house for Thanksgiving. Everyone was having fun, and all the kids were running up and down the stairs, from room to room, trying to avoid the party pooper of putting our pj’s on. My cousin, Tyler, and I eventually went to his room to put our pj’s on anyway, when my uncle comes up too. That was the first time I was molested by my uncle. After that, he molested/raped me for 3 years. Whenever we went to visit him, he always found a way to get me alone. When I was 5, we moved down to Georgia. I hate it. The only good things down here are my friends and the good weather. I started on our neighborhood swim team, and that consumed my whole life. I love swimming. It’s my passion. No, I never swam year-round because we could never afford it. I went through school pretty normally, nothing special. Until some kid bit my sister on the playground. My mother complained to the school and enrolled us in a new elementary school. There I met new friends and new hobbies, like drama. I was in drama camp the two years I was at our new elementary school and it was pretty cool. Anyway, when I was 8 my dad made us clean out my moms car for mothers day, and I found a bag of weed in her car. I didn’t know what it was, so I gave it to my dad. He got very angry, and sent my sister and me to our rooms. That night, my mom slept at her friends house. Two days later, she went to her first AA meeting. She told us that it was her way of talking to God by herself. I was so proud that my mommy found someone she can talk to, because she was always crying over how she felt so lonely. Middle school came around eventually and it was ok-ish. I guess. Up until 8th grade. I was in band, I played clarinet and I was 1st chair. Everything in my life was going amazingly. Then it all came crashing down ontop of me. One of the 3 teachers I trusted in that school asked me and my best friend to go to his car and get his wallet. In his car, we found a gun. No, we weren’t snooping! When you tell someone that it’s in the middle consol, wouldn’t you think that meant the little bump in between the seats? Yeah, me too. But no, instead is a hand gun. We run back up to his room and quietly tell him what we saw. The next day, my friend and I told our parents what had happend. They went into the principal and the teacher got fired. No one knew exactly  what had happened but our families. Until one meddling little bitch (who had been my best friend for 8 years by then) decided to go have lunch with the bastard. He told them what had happened. But instead of confronting me and asking my side of the story, she decided to turn her back against me and tell our whole grade that me and my friend went snooping in his car without his permission. That ended OUR relationship. My parents took our family to the beach for a few days after that, so that everything could calm down at school before I went back. My friend stayed home sick, because she was scared to go without me too. Then came high school. Jesus Christ, and I thought middle school was full of drama. Anyway, I joined Colorguard my freshman year, and it was the best decision of my life. Colorguard is the one thing in my life that I am sincerely passionate about. I love the girls in it, and I love the rush you get when tossing that rifle/flag/sabre in the air and smack that thing in a perfect catch. It’s amazing. But of course, drama follows me everywhere, so the peace didn’t stay long :/ At the beginning of the year, my group was with 4 other girls, and I never felt more loved in my life. We were inseparable. But that winter, I couldn’t do winterguard because of financial problems with my family. So, at the end of the year, when marching band practices started up again, I started talking to my friends more. After a while, some of the girls started telling me that one girl was talking about me, and making fun of me behind my back. I brushed it off, because, what girl doesn’t vent about everyone else. I mean, we all do it once in a while. But, while this was going on, re-occurring nightmares about my uncle started rearing their heads again. That is when I started cutting. One night, my parents were out and my sister was at a friends, and I sat in my bathtub with a pen. I went up one arm, when my sister got home. She cleaned me up, gave me my medicine and told my parents that I had puked in the bathroom and that’s why she was cleaning the tub. From then on, she’s always watched me. And I swear she is my guardian angel. Marching band flew by, as the drama died down a little, and my nightmares grew under control. But then we went on the best trip of my entire life. We went to New York City, to march in the 83rd Macy*s Thanksgiving Day Parade. It was amazing. I’ve always had an obsession with New York, considering my moms whole side of the family is from/lives up there. But of course, the drama followed us all the way up. The first few days were absolutely breathe-taking, but soon everyone got tired, and the bitches came out in all of us. And apparently I ruined one girls trip by asking her where she had put my make-up after borrowing it. We haven’t talked since. Now life is, ok-ish. My dad has a new job, flying back and forth every week from here to Michigan. And my mom hates him. She keeps telling us she wants to leave, but she can’t. Because she has no money. I’m hoping that one day, she’ll just give up. And see what a nice life, we all have.

I know that was pretty boring, and if you made it to here, congrats. That’s me. If you have any questions, there’s an ask up there^

ps: this isn’t really finished.. i just got bored. i’ll finish it later.